Why I Quit Drinking?

So I quit drinking by accident.

Alcohol. I just forgot to drink, really.

That’s just really what happened. I got really serious about my career. I got really intentional. I’ve always been very serious about my career.

I got really intentional about the type of person that I wanted to become and how I wanted to show up in this world.

When I dial down on myself and really got serious and clear about what I wanted and what I wanted to call it and who I wanted to be and who I wanted to become, things started happening for me. And doors started opening for me.

I had some amazing opportunities show up at my doorstep, and some of them triggered me very much so, a lot of them. I really just just got clear in that they were showing up for me because I was ready to receive them. Whether or not that they triggered me or whether or not I was afraid of them, I was going to move forward on them. And when that happened and I started moving forward in these types of opportunities, I really stood out for myself and stood in my own power and I forgot to drink. And even going out, you know, everyone is having a cocktail and it’s not like I don’t even want a cocktail. And it’s also actually you really don’t even want a cocktail. But like, it’s not that I am judging anybody or care about any of that stuff because I, you know, it’s not coming from a place where I ever really well, I definitely use alcohol as a crutch, and I definitely abused alcohol. And I used alcohol to numb myself for a significant amount of time. I never felt like I was in a position where I had to go into a program or had an issue where it was consuming my life, where I couldn’t function, but I was definitely abusing it at times, and especially in my twenties and early thirties, to not deal with some of the pain that I was feeling.

I ended up in my thirties and, you know, one of your hangovers is start getting so bad, it’s almost not worth the freaking drink anymore. So that was happening. And as I got sick and I was dealing with, you know, all these things that were going in my body, alcohol triggered all of those things as well. And so I would become, you know, I couldn’t drink brown liquor because I would have allergic reaction to brown liquor, and then I could only drink vodka and then I couldn’t drink vodka anymore. I was only drinking tequila. And there was only a specific tequila and a specific Barolo red wine that I could drink. And so it just got to the point where it was like these two things and like what? Like, who cares at this point? So I kind of all was like, going in the same direction as like, as I was getting better. And I decided to, like, really dial in to healing my body. I didn’t drink because of that for a couple of months. And then I, like, went on a trip to Peru and I didn’t drink because I was going to do plant medicine. And so you haven’t yet done so I just didn’t drink then. And so I was going through these spurts of not having alcohol intentionally because of something I was trying to accomplish within my system or I the experience with, you know, ayahuasca. But when I came back from that, I just didn’t ever drink again. And so it just got really to the point where it wasn’t serving me anymore. I wasn’t bringing anything to the table and I just kind of forgot about it. And so I just accidentally quit drinking and I haven’t had a drink in.

Over a year now. I had a sip of wine when I was in Rome and the Amalfi Coast with my friends this summer. But I just had a sip of theirs, and I thought that was it. I gave my glass away. And so I just it just kind of happened. And so I feel like it just fell off for me. And a lot of other things have fallen off for me as well. And, you know, I used to smoke weed or have edibles and I really enjoyed that. And I don’t know if this is forever. I don’t know if I’m never going to drink again. So or I’m never going to, you know, have marijuana again or whatever. But I just kind of not doing it right now and it’s really serving me and I feel great about it. And I thought I would feel very uncomfortable being in public with groups of people not drinking, but I really just don’t care. It’s like I feel like everything has just kind of landed me in this place where I feel so good in my body right now that I don’t want to mess that up with, like adding anything in it that’s kind of like screw with the system because it’s taken me so long to get here and to finally feel this good in my body, which I’ve never felt this good. And so if alcohol is not part of the equation anymore, I guess it’s not part of the equation. And I you know, like I used to miss having like a glass of tequila or, you know, wine down from the end in the day, but like, oh, worth it. So who knows what the future will bring. But that’s kind of really just what happened. I just kind of forgot for what to drink. And then here we are a year later and realize it’s just not serving. So that’s my story with alcohol.